Somber Sundays- Lets take a walk outside..

I can't put a lot of stock into other people these days, and that's ok. I've spent the majority of my "adult" life as half of a whole, never quite able to be myself and without ever really discovering who I am. Though it was a hard couple of years after the split with Miss Mamma it eventually leveled out and, much to my surprise, I began to like the guy I had become.

Now that I am finally comfortable with myself the first instinct was to find someone to share it with...though this task it seems is much more difficult and honestly not entirely necessary. Now that I no longer need validation having a "relationship" isn't that huge a priority. Having good friends is more than enough to satisfy me right now and, hey, if a wonderful person does happen to stumble into my corner of the universe and does not immediately bounce out than why not.

All I am saying is that being a whole person, and being happy with who the person is, can be enough.

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Thankful Thursdays

Of all the things in the world I am enjoying at this moment there is one in particular that I do not give nearly enough credit and that is the state of Colorado. Yes I can and probably will mine this very broad subject for blog postings in the nearish future but for now I must say that Colorado as a whole is owed many a thank you from The Blake and today is that day.

Though moving here had been the plan a few years prior to it ever happening I had put it off over and over, after all thats a huge life change and it was not until my life essentially ended in California that I was able to start over here. Scary as that was I have almost no regrets of the location change and I wake every morning renewed with possibility and excitement. Even after nearly a year of living in Colorado I am constantly coming across new and amazing experiences with so much more to look forward to. I have only explored an incredibly small amount portion of Colorado so far and I am itching to get out there and see it all despite knowing that will take decades if not the rest of my lifetime. And though I still plan on visiting far off exotic locales I never forget that new experiences are right around the corner right where I am, all I have to do is be ready for them and keep my eyes open.

And the people of this great state! It is true that there have been some rude folks since moving here but I could say that about anywhere, but after meeting and making new friends and acquaintances whom I am genuinely intrigued and inspired by I am certain that there is no other place these people could exist. Traveling just minutes from Longmont, my now home town, I come to my new favorite city of Boulder. A place so filled with energy and creativity that just walking down the street gives me a new and wonderful experience. Random people strike up conversations and debates along Pearl, an act that might warrant harassment charges in California. The atmosphere is great I could think of no better place for me to raise Bug and Bubbas as the liberally open minded human beings I hope for them to become.

Though I have encountered sadness and maybe a smidge of loneliness since coming here I will never look back on the decision as anything less than a blessing. I needed a new life in a new place and what I got was an entirely new outlook on the universe and everything it contains. So on this day I say thank you Colorado, when I came here I was empty and with your help I am on a journey I no longer want to end.

Thankful Thursdays

Seven years and nine months ago I successfully procreated and produced a small female child whom I will refer to as Bugaboo. Now this is an interesting life development for more than just the obvious reasons due to me previously being against multiplying. This was not so much a noble decision as it was out of fear, fear that I myself would become like my parents which near the end of my childhood days were less than decent. I was under the belief that I would make a terrible father and a child would be better off not existing than to suffer through what I had for a large portion of my life. That all changed the second my little girl was brought into this world and even further solidified by the arrival of my Son two years later whom we shall call Bubbas. I am far from perfect, in fact my father skills aren't so much "Leave it to Beaver" as they are Homer Simpson, but gosh do I love my babies. And in the end it might not even be them who gets the most out of the deal for I have grown and changed and become an honest to goodness man because of my children. They have changed my life in every aspect and beyond the constant picking up of sharp plastic objects peppered like mines throughout my home I would call them perfect little people. So on this day I thank my Bugaboo and Bubbas for making life worth living everyday, there is nothing more wonderful than to see you smile and hear you say with unflinching conviction that you love me. Now please, I will give you ice cream if you could only just pick up your darn toys.....

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