"Im not crying, just got some awesome music stuck in my eyes"-Writer unknown
Everything's going to be alright, you will get through this, dont be lonely. My inner monologue is not always an emo bitch but there are times when I wonder how much progress I have even made. If in fact I have put any of the pieces back together at all or I am just lying to myself to get by. I am not codependent, at least not anymore than the rest of the planet, but being alone is not how I wish to spend my days and evenings. People and things just seem so far away...like postcards sent from across a vast sea of turbulent waves and blood thirsty sharks. I want to put myself out there, swim across that ocean of chance, find out if there might be someone on the opposite shore who wants to share the journey. But I cant. Or maybe I wont.
I walked my bike down Main Street yesterday during one of the many city events, the random people walking by me said hello and I smiled ever so slightly. I saw every kind of person coupled up with a partner, hands locked together laughing at whatever it is people in love talk about. All I could think is how when I turn and point out a strange person or random thing there is no one to smile and acknowledge that, yes, they see it too and think it is equally humorous and odd. I want that. The feeling of togetherness.
Be it near or far, the possibilities are there but I grow impatient, I dont want to wait. Ive waited long enough now I think. So what am I to do?
"Who's gonna watch me die"
EDITORS NOTE: Not all my posts are this depressing I swear.
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